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Determine the optimum age for your next girlfriend, mistress, or wife
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Determine the Optimum Age for Your Next Girlfriend, Mistress, or Wife

A famous French mathematician — I forget which one exactly — once created a simple formula for calculating the optimum age for a man's next girlfriend, mistress, or wife:

x / 2 + 7


where x equals the man's age. A table is provided for the mathematically challenged. (Note: If your age is an odd number, always round down after dividing by 2.)

Your Age Woman's Optimum Age
22 18
23 18
24 19
25 19
26 20
27 20
28 21
29 21
30 22
31 22
32 23
33 23
34 24
35 24
36 25
37 25
38 26
39 26
40 27
41 27
42 28
43 28
44 29
45 29
46 30
47 30
48 31
49 31
50 32
51 32
52 33
53 33
54 34
55 34
56 35
57 35
58 36
59 36
60 37
61 37
62 38
63 38
64 39
65 39
66 40
67 40
68 41
69 41
70 42
71 42
72 43
73 43
74 44
75 44
76 45
77 45
78 46
79 46
80 47

comments:

You're a freaking genius!

Sent by Chris Jones on November 20, 2002

Who can argue against science?

Sent by John Anderson on November 21, 2002

neat stuff, but imo the range might be: from x / 2 + 6 to x + (x / 3)

Sent by rOTTEn on November 22, 2002

good stuff

Sent by Mark Vracar on November 25, 2002

Aaaaah math ... Now that's amoré!!!

Sent by Tim on November 29, 2002

Mmmm... Nice concept. Probably a Greek mathematician. I've seen this variously attributed to Plato and Lao Tzu.

Sent by ampliphibian on December 6, 2002

I couldn't agree more - but I'd be satisfied with just getting laid more than once in a blue moon.

Sent by big john on December 16, 2002

I would like to determine the age for boyfriend.

Sent by Jerusa de Paula on December 21, 2002

Zsa Zsa said that a young woman should marry a man who is in his 40s. He will die when she is in her 40s. She, then at her sexual peak, should marry a man who is 18, now at his sexual peak. She will die when he is in his 40s. He should then marry a girl who is 18. She said that everyone gets his/her ya-yas out, and that no one will fight over money.

Sent by parkeru on December 25, 2002

OK, ya got the auto-age-calculator, now how about the auto-woman-FINDER?

Sent by Fred Mees on December 29, 2002

Hey, I'm 62 and still horney as hell. What age should I be looking at? I'm thinking, any woman under 40. Any advice?

Sent by Gary Molitor on January 1, 2003

WOW that's amazing! I have had failed relations, cheaters, nut jobs and my last one was perfect; been together 6 years and we are just like the day we met; totally in love and your chart got her age exactly!

Sent by Eddie on January 12, 2003

For years I have been telling all my friends in L.A. this rule and they all claimed I was nuts or they never heard of it! I am sending this link to everyone...

Sent by Mark on February 6, 2003

I tearing up that's so effing beautiful.

Sent by Jim on February 10, 2003

But this makes NO sense cause statistically women outlive men. Men and women should switch columns on this table. ;) When I am 55, a 34 year old stud would suit me just fine.

Sent by McKayl on February 10, 2003

The formula for the perfect age of your next boyfriend is (x-7)*2, where x is the age of the woman.

Sent by bu on February 19, 2003

Get rid of the +7 IMO. ;)

Sent by DK on March 3, 2003

you fucking assholes. I'm 30 and there's no way I would get in bed with a 46 year-old creepy thing. No thanks- I prefer fresh meat.

Sent by mabel on March 6, 2003

Hey Mabel, 46 ain't that far ahead of thirty. HHmm, will YOU be creepy at 46? Yeah, so you say...

Sent by The Sausage King of Chicago on March 28, 2003

I believe the +7 is so that they are legal, so that would mean for Alabama and Mississippi it would have to be -7.

Sent by blacthorn on March 28, 2003

Great, what a fucking genius.

Sent by PMG on March 28, 2003

mabel, i am only 32. :)

Sent by Sam on April 11, 2003

Hey Mabel, get real. It's like in dog years. A 30 year old gal IS equivalent to a 46 year old guy. Besides, thirty somethings can't pay for all stuff you babes love to consume.

Sent by No Bullshit on April 29, 2003

Ah, ageism at its best combined with sexism at its worst :-) However, wrp to my current relationship, our ages at the time we got together fit the formula EXACTLY! And we have had a very stable and happy relationship for eight years now. So if anything, his calculation seems to be for first encounters... If you want the relationship to last, don't use the formula ;-)

Sent by M on May 17, 2003

Human beings should all be born as women and then undergo a transformation into men in their mid-thirties. That would solve the age issue *so* neatly! Nature's clearly not a good problem-solver. (But zat'z vhat ve haf science for!!!)

Sent by Ool on May 17, 2003

Ok, nice formula - but also important is the body-here is my hint: height(cm)/weight(kgs)= anything >=3 is perfect!

Sent by Marshall on August 15, 2003

I am 29 and would be willing to do a 45 year old if there was something in it for me!

Sent by Michelle on October 1, 2003

Good formula. I have fond memories of getting some 9 year old ass as a 4 year old.

Sent by Freshmilk on October 24, 2003

Frankly, I don't see what women see in older men other than wealth & wisdom (maybe to each). Older men seem to age us prematurely. Datin' 'em 28-35 keeps me young & smiling...

Sent by 38-yr-old woman on November 2, 2003

Michelle, you are a whore.

Sent by God on November 13, 2003

your numbers are on the money...my girlfriend is 21 and im 31....sweet!!!!

Sent by John on December 6, 2003

Young cunts go for old dicks because those "loving" relationships include the exchange of worldly goods: Relationships between men and women always involve the exchange of money, and they range from hiring by the quarter hour all the way to the institution of marriage. If you think that marriage is not an expensive proposition, you have not considered the total cost of a wife. Why would a young cunt go for an old dick? Because old guys can pay for shoes, wardrobe, makeup, perfumes, car, room and board, etc! Also, the prettiest young women wind up with the guys with the biggest, longest, thickest, hardest bank accounts. If a woman is over 30, she's out of the running for that kind of job because she's too old and because her looks faded when she was in her late 20s.

Sent by willyjeff@hotmail.com on December 18, 2003

I'm 35 yo mum, at my prime (wouldn't have known how to relax & enjoy when I was younger). older, sexier, wiser & not afraid to do/say EVERYTHING! about to have a fling with a DELICIOUS 18yo guy. He has a thing for me & visa versa (we have for 2 years, but he would have been WAY TOO young then. Now he's ready. He won't know what's hit him!! He'll learn alot...you guys are driving down the wrong road!!

Sent by yummymummy on March 25, 2004

Gee, us gals also have a roughly equivalent system. Take man's age, divide by 2 and you have the mental age you are actually dating (always a good reality check). Age a man is that's most desireable to date: Women at any legal dating age = Men at 31 with mutant gene that forces their mental age (see above) to keep up with their physical age.

Sent by Bling Myself on June 9, 2004

Is there an equivalent table for us gay men? If personal ads are any indicator, once a guy hits 39 he won't speak to any guy over 35. And once he hits his mid-40's it's under 25 or nothing.

Sent by Scramcat on July 7, 2004

Hmm, by definition, Michelle, if you do someone there is something it it for you! The question is where do you want it? Unfortunately, at age 41 I am too young for you.

Sent by Mike on July 21, 2004

[ Comments are closed on this article.]

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