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Note: No images were harmed in the development of Suck List Classic what's new [IN GOLF] Brilliant Nike parody featuring my good friend Atari 2600 Golf Guy. Quick Time. 351K. Turn up the sound. Created by Anthony Ramos. what's popular [IN WEB] The Web Economy Bullshit Generator what's unpopular [IN BOOZE] A Tribute to Booze what's dack.com?! dack.com is the 2¢ of Dack Ragus, a guy living in Minneapolis, MN (USA) who likes to golf, cocktail, and watch movies ... in that order.

Suck List Classic dack.com* Dack Ragus* you* guys named Dack* the suck list* people who make lists of things that suck* Branding Mania. e.g. all those little fucking stickers on every piece of fruit you buy, just to tell you what corporation grew it. Now we have to peel them off? Worse than the "Inspected by No.23" stickers in your new underwear! toilet paper rollers that limit the amount of T.P. you can unravel. timeouts after every kick mortgage refinance solicitors Timothy Dalton as Bond Clothing telling the world where you have been...who cares? People who lick their fingers when eating. My work chair People who check voicemail on speakerphone the permanence and instantaneousness of email kottke.org 3.2 beer Cars made after 1969 Every Bond whose first name is not Sean AOL Hollywood Star Wars Real Networks** web logs New Year's parties microbrews any sweet stuff in cocktails email jokes portals with holiday themes Christmas shopping Dryel Ricky Martin litterbugs Anyone classified as a "pop sensation." Netscape Webmail final exams people that stink up the restroom at work Beanie Babies Any mention of y2k or the millennium Airborne Express Minnesota during the winter Minnesota during the summer backsplash when using a public toilet Manila Quicken's radio ads. They spend half their time talking about the "Supertool," which is a fictitious product! having to go three different places on christmas day to see all the family high school cheerleaders Astronaut Wife's web site Astronaut Wife's music $3 hookers Red Herring's non-news news. mullets browser cache When tv news people talk about their web sites like fucking morons and say things like "dial up our web site" or "email us at www.badnewsstation.com" or "surf on over to www.badnewsstation.com." Today, I heard one of them say, "It's always on — 24 hours a day." the Dryel web site 24 hour coverage of millenium celebrations around the world drunk russian leaders the size of the form field for submitting things to the suck list the music on the Dryel web site When people are chewing food and they take a big swig of milk/beer/coke and continue to chew before swallowing. Gross! the phrase "my bad!" the Abercrombie & Fitch song by LFO Jenny McCarthy wine Mr. Cranky being sick colors that have flower names Apple´s OSX gui (Steve why didn't you stick with your NEXT buddies?) the new gap commercials people with annoying and very loud laughs lists of things that suck that scroll on forever people who do not know sports white shirts and khakis National Youth Leadership Council - or any organization for overachievers having no control over your cruise control artists releasing partial mp3s for download service charges on top of the ticket price hangovers metered ramps picky eaters People who wear so much perfume/cologne that they apparently think they're lunar moths, trying to attract a mate from 200 miles away 32 year old blonde English teachers that won't give you the time of day even after you've taken them out to an expensive restaurant and given them flowers on numerous occasions Ticketmaster Yahoo! mall bangs and overprocessed blondes John Rocker broken links chat rooms Arial font Kurt Warner's wife having to clean up one or two inches of snow new schoolhouse rock Nori St. Croix United States Virgin Islands .com this .com that Waking up in the morning, thinking it's the weekend, and then realizing it's still a weekday... the word "start up" in the same sentence as "pre IPO" religions that don't believe in interest Beautiful women with long legs and firm bodies who dress in business attire with short skirts and tight blouses and who don't dig me People on cell phones in the grocery store, talking to someone about how tough it is to shop at the malls these days [Fwd: Fwd: emails ]* waking up and having to go home losing the Mr. Happy sticker from your toothbrush ads for long distance service farts with no odor parent teacher conferences nobs that are fat and short anal fissures people who believe everything Jakob Nielsen spouts This aussie chick Kate, our dingbat receptionist when my nose won't stop itching tag. lines. with. periods. after. each. word. my dog's farts that smell like cheddar cheese intranets -- because most of them suck so bad and you can't rip on them publicly becuase they're usually behind firewalls. BGCOLOR="#FFCC00" paying $8 for a popcorn and a soda at the movies no matter how much you twist and dance the last few drops end up in your pants going to work and being bombarded with company drones whose entire wardrobe consists of corporate propoganda "all praise the company" tshirts guys who walk into the washroom, have a pee and walk straight back out without washing their hands Paying 3 dollars for a bag of chips that's only half full People who put apostrophes in their plural's Two Party System incomplete bowel evacuation (craps that break in half and get sucked back in for the next few hours) Any movie studio related theme park 5 year frame guarantees on umbrellas Cheesy American TV ads dubbed with Austraian voices blatant overuse of the colour orange lately work the RIAA beer cans that roll under the brake petal vienna sausage major record labels who refuse to develop newly signed artists and let them toil away into the obsucity of one hit wonderdom When MTV stopped playing actual music videos the available pool of candidates for election to any public office Napster users who keep incomplete songs in their library urinal conversationalists anti-flash dinosaurs like you Text driven websites that constrain all the content to live in a 640 wide table. Aargh - let it flow! "my karma ran over your dogma" superpants.com Spell checkers that make you capitalize "Internet" people who invade the stall next to you for #2 while you're already doing #2 and you got there first sex anything "outside the box" people who drive 25 in a 25 zone Our new company name (marchFirst) deskmates who set their cell phones to play 'the entertainer' girls who don't need to wear bras girls who should but don't bad speling airline strikes and CHAOS radio and tv announcers who reel off URLs and pronounce the "www" like this: "dubbleya-dubbleya-dubbleya" Amazon.com and their lame patents "no fat chicks" t-shirts the flat, cartoony, 2D look so popular in web design right now. give me drop shadows, give me glows, give me textures (as long as the text isn't on top of them) because i'm tired of solid colours. people who think the web is just a newspaper on a computer screen people who snort when they laugh david letterman people that listen to eighties music in a shared office Airtran Airlines women who don't trim their pubic hair Abercrombie & Fitch the idea of anyone boinking Kathy Lee Gifford Tipper Gore for making record labels put those annoying warning stickers on CDs the wireless web Notes5 mail client the marchFirst web site people who reply to emails and leave the entire body of the previous message in the new message newschool boy band LFO stealing their name from oldschool electronica band, LFO my boss 'N SYNC' Having diarrhea in a public restroom links to nudie pictures do-good politicians working 9-5 brittany spears and any other pre-mickey mouse club kid a bad haircut getting caught surfing the web at work paying for cable to get network stations Movie trailers with the phrase "In a world where ..." Blowing your nose and having goo come out of your eye the Oscars** referring to non cell phones as "land lines" The M(spr)all of America Angelina Jolie's brother the phrase "Anywho" the olympics e this e that.... people who bid on your auctions and then don't pay up jail rape people who add flash sites to this suck list like marchfirst Phoenix, AZ forwarding an email containing long lists of previous addressees** Chalupas (and the dogs that advertise and are ground up to create them) women that do their makeup on the train Denny Green dumbass tourists news from 5-8 with the same stories repeated over and over and over people who drive 55 in the fast lane on the highway emails with unrelated subject lines guy on the train jabbering into his cell phone, punctuated with "I'm in a public place so I can't name names, but on that REALLY BIG deal, you know which one, I think we ought to ..." bosses cilantro new media workers who think they're different than the Alex P. Keaton yuppies of the 80s just because they get to dress casually at work Nightclub bouncers who think they have taste in fashion and style matt damon "You've got (anything placed here)!" those 'ladies' who are too dainty to sit on a public toilet seat to pee, yet have no qualms about pissing all over it. whiny pathetic men begging for sex Being forced to watch Angel to see the conclusion of a Buffy episode b2b Corporate America Corporate politics and related bullshit email chain letters kforce.com The Olsen Twins Web designers who set text I want to read in font size 2. Don't they realize that it's the equivalent of font size -1? ibooks F***wits who don't know the difference between "you're" and "your" drunk crack whores Morning wood UFO's that follow you Intense intestinal cramps my friend emily, who is all about herself. shes always sick too! its like shutup!!! i hate her now. she needs to grow up and get a life! environmental disaster movies people and their pathetic dysfunctional lives raising the roof insincere self-deprecation Minnesota drivers The attitude that the world revolves around people from Minneapolis - NOT! people in restaurants who talk too loudly (in atlanta, this means EVERYONE!) taxes Middle-aged advertising agents who pretend they know all about the internet small-government zealots advocating stricter abortion laws** small-government zealots advocating a constitutional flag-desecration amendment** The thought of the first Elian Gonzales made for TV Movie the Hooters in Augusta, GA Anything associated with Arkansas Season Finale of the Sporanos..the writers were doing so well..what happened?! George W Bush Dr. Laura b2b2c 6 degrees of kevin bacon www.cartier.com splash pages Wired Magazine Those fat bastards on CBS Monday Nights who get all those much thinner, much more attractive women than they deserve. C'mon...King of Queens? Raymond? Ladies Man? When's the last time you saw an obese white man with no money landing a hottie? platinum medallion members who mass in front of the gate like the Huns invading China, or maybe like belligerent sheep when the whole world is paying attention to your website and the damn server crashes. constant media blather about how Europe is ahead of the US in wireless Internet access People who discuss their infections with you. The People's (Anything) state of utah tabbed navigation that is "forced" into two rows netscape for the mac The "dot" arrow that comes with the font Meta that EVERYONE uses for "instant design" micro$oft people who still spell millennium wrong e-anything weed with seeds Americans, blinded by their anti-Castro hatred, who just can't see that the kid should be with his dad Americans who crap on Cuba. The people are great. All American beers porno sites which hard to get out of because of all those damn windows! period cramps Matt sucks because he's not in love with me cars with cup holders designed for non-moving cars head colds The Tom Jones cover of (insert your favourite song here) Having your new boyfriend find your Spice Girls Album Meeting up with people from high school who say "You haven't changed a bit" Ten years ago Finding your parents' porn collection Realizing your parents do it more than you do dot-com CEOs who know nothing about the web or technology people who think the millennium ended in 1999 Realizing your parents do it more than you do virtual communities alternative minimum tax Tijuana the "new" economy Windows 98 Idiots who dial on speaker phone and wait for someone to answer before picking up the receiver** Britney Spears new video, if she wasn't wearing a red plastic suit. I do too love you. -Matt males who think that only women are needy and add "needy women" to a "what sucks?" list People with the "East Coast attitude". You know who you are, you snots. Going through the drive thru only to later find out they didn't give you any ketchup. People who take six smoke breaks a day, and you don't smoke, but get griped at for leaving 15 minutes early. Juan Williams Time magazine praising Time-Warner product like it just fell out of God's magnificent asshole blogger outages web-based e-mail programs EMAILS IN ALL CAPS those ad banners that consist of a windows alert box complete with buttons and a moving mouse pointer. people in the music industry who dress like fuckwits to show their 'artistic expression' fat chicks who dress like they have my figure a picture that is actually worth less than a thousand words Croatia Old Navy Commercials folks who think Dack.com is cool... no left turn on red Stephen P. Yokich - UAW President graphic designers who don't know shit People who moan about Arial when they're using Verdana - hardly a chasm of difference The fact that Buffy never goes sunbathing - or to a sauna, or has a shower with the door open - or snogs her girlfriends... you've got mail--totally gramatically incorrect! people who drive, park or idle in the bike lane leather pants hemmorhoids Guys who wear hats very low on their foreheads (aka "Hat Guys") Design awards that reward style and ignore usability e-anything finding blatant pointless commonalities as an excuse to communicate with your fellow man, like lists of things that suck. The idea that popularity signifies quality** using the phrase "out-of-this-world" with a topic even remotely connected to space, science fiction, aliens, etc. being fooled by transvestites the fonts on dack.com the type size on dack.com the DMV parking tickets finding a house in San Francisco the IRS income tax capital gains tax Kid Rock Puff Daddy boo.com The reality of the first Elian Gonzales made for TV movie People who register their own name as a domain, like they think it's something that makes them sound important. mp3s that skip 1 hour photo developing' places that can't develop your photos within 1 hour mexican water low salt butter talking on the phone Commercial websites sending you big HTML files right to your email account taking up your storage space milky cappuccino overcooked pasta man eating animals parties with no drink** 40 oz of near beer security deposits Comic Sans Company names that use cApital leTters at ranDom stepdaddy.com fools who think they know 3D IKEA un-vested stock options FAMILY VALUES (the root of all that is evil) anything west o' the missipppi anything 800 x 600 al gore people who think overweight women should just accept the idea that they aren't worthy of having a sex life cute long haired guys who get haircuts and then burst into a room smiling saying "Hey! How do you like my new hair?" people who think fat girls should roast in heavy clothes when it is 100 degrees just because some people don't like looking at uncovered arms, legs and tummies if they have fat on them guys who let adult women who have bodies like 12 year old girls get away with anything they want orange web pages clothing manufacturers which refuse to make their clothes in XXL sizes clothing manufacturers that only have thin people modeling in their ads (i.e. ALL of them) that goddamn "punch the monkey" banner ad Buffy mania "new media" - come on, this isn't "new" any more, get with it flash sites that don't do anything clever or interesting with their "loading" panel people who chew gum everywhere and do it loudly When Dack won't put my suck suggestion on his stupid suck list. death Clinton for not picking an intern who swallows Monica slobbering on the blue dress a colonoscopy not having sex for such a long time that you can't remember which one gets tied up getting pissed on by a dog at the beach getting shit on by any kind of bird (they *know* what they're doing) real live corporate bullshit generators Roseanne Barr's ego an ingrown butt hair** those little "piss on you" stickers on pickup truck windows my dog dragging her ass across the carpet after taking a dump out in the yard a mosquito bite on the weenie constipation PacMan characters speeding up when you know damn well they shouldn't the constant humming sound in my head old rock stars who go country not being able to find the condom after doing it the muffler falling off my car getting kicked in the joint friends expecting you to tell them that their kids are cute waiting for NT to (re)boot sloppily sewn men's briefs that won't hold your balls properly the asshole at the office who wipes his boogers on the wall above the urinal McDonald's pickles lighting a fart without wearing underwear improperly performed oral sex Hardwired FONT SIZE="-1". On dack.com The City Of Atlanta (nice people, bad place). clients that don't get it spiritual women the notion that education=intelligence the suck list unupdated for so long Coworkers who get *really* gassy in the afternoons. HTMLers who think they are programmers, and refer to HTML as "code" Tom Lehman's coral necklace BYO david seigel roger black my new husband's ex-wife Bay Area real estate wedding vendors flying wine tasting road biking--no, road bikers day care Jar Jar Binks Windows Tea Cafes--do they have a name? My golf game People who clip their nails at work** Interwoven. Some Perl and JavaScript valued in the billions. Conservatives who are --all of the sudden-- pro immigration in wanting Elian to stay in the USA. What ever happened to "family values"? Grown men with ponytails Anyone with a $100,000 car People born rich who think they've earned it Elian Gonzales's Miami relatives Macintosh zealouts. Hey, it's over guys! Flash designers who think HTML is dead and Flash is the future. Gimme an F'ing break! those rustling plastic trousers everyone seems to be wearing People who say "I didn't know you [had/could/didn't ] ........" when it's none of their fucking business. people who think IRC and Telnet are web browsers (see the "Flash is Evil" feedback for examples) banning snowmobiles in National Parks self-flushing public conviniences that flush while you're still sitting down NPR babies people who use the word "suck" all the time warm beers and britney spears fat girls who complain about how fat girls are treated people humans guys who don't know how to play with "the little man in the boat" a prick-teaser passing out naked on the toilet, falling into the bathtub, taking the dump there, and waking up in that in the morning lighting the wrong end of a cigarette dry heaves those little jerks with those big damn sound systems in their cars doobie that's been cut with cowshit eating a can of tuna and then finding out it's cat food ladies who profess expertise in the oral arts and then gag trimming your crotch hair for that big date and slipping with the scissor rectal itch slipping forward off the bicycle seat realizing that the cook at a restaurant has dicked with your food whoopi goldberg in an intellectual discussion getting wood at the office seeing your parents have sex finding a cigarette butt in your beer can southerners using "y'alls" as plural letting out a fart and then realizing it's the real thing realizing that the best sex you've ever had was administered by yourself getting your tongue stuck on frozen metal (if you're from MN, you've done it) poking a finger through the toilet paper my dog hocking a heaping hot mound on the living room carpet without warning F***wits who don't know the difference between "it's" and "its" F***wits who don't know that it's "definite" and not "definate" soundtrack albums which substitue lame covers for the original artist's recording how lewd the suck list has become** diesel exhaust doctors who introduce themselves as "Dr. ___." People who say "that" when they mean "who" having all your money in the nasdaq il fornaio olives anyone who actually gives a rats ass what happens to html html Jared Spool crack cocaine vhs beautiful women who are aware of exactly how beautiful they are and are aware of how plain YOU are and have no intention of ever acting like a mortal forgetting what you thought sucked by the time you read the whole damn list working at Kinko's people who think gold is orange concertgoers who dress like the band interesting flash loading panels pubes on the toilet seat whining, shouty sports-casual clad american tourists who complain endlessly to strangers about how everything's not as good as it is at home in the US and don't realise how insulting they're being Monday morning hangovers Windoze lusers who keep the fight alive by continually telling the "Mac zealots" that "it's over". People who write HTML by hand so that "all that learning didn't go to waste". when you read through the whole what sucks list and you're thing that sucks that you posted didn't get listed low-flush toilets Tom Green and his stupid ass TV show boyfriends who smoke crack most of the URL's in Business 2.0 Advertising people who post something to the suck list that's obviously directed at something youposted to the suck list last week bleeping out letters in "bad words" with those f***ing aster*sks...come ON, we still can see what the word is SUPPOSED to be, so how does bleeping out a few letters really make it less nasty? realizing that skinny-waisted chicks are nicer to look at than to actually lie on top ofs straight edgers - not content to live their own "toxin free" life, they set themselves on all the other people who drink, smoke or use chemicals they don't like when you're in a meeting and someone says "I'll talk to you about it offline" or "I'll down load you on it later". suck lists re-stocking fees onemain.com being ugly asthetically pleasing computers ginger vw jetta as the spokescar for "new media" musical cell phone ringers guns Potted Meat "Hot body sex pants"~ those tight black pants that girls where. Now fat chicks are wearing them to make themselves look skinnier than they are. girls who don't shave their vaginas~this is the 00s, not the 70s!!! girls who don't swallow. GET OVER IT! Life burrito joints that don't give you FREE chips that 6-hour old evaporated piss-paste that's all around the urinal at work because grown men don't know how to take a piss rectal thermometers Emanual Kant Redneck peeing Calvin stickers The soft nail that becomes exposed after biting too much off your fingernail Greenpeace fucks who drive around in cars bigger than my Explorer people who don't follow the leash and pick up laws online travel reservation systems boys people who chew with their mouths open Meredith Baxter-Birney TV movies Acne-ridden geeks who use the term "download" as a euphemism for sex A severe case of "Cranky Ass" Three letter acronyms when you offer someone an Altoid and they touch all of them. paris Sudddenly Susan runs in your pantyhose pap smears & mamograms Dingleberries The parts of Eyes Wide Shut not left on the Cutting Room Floor Canada people who feel compelled to use "quotation" marks to emphasize words. They should be "clubbed" like harp seals. "Think different" ads. "Think different": don't license your OS. What a bunch of stupid fucks. Arby's That super sticky seal on the CD Jewel Case** Outhouses leaving Amsterdam to come back to the U.S. Pre-Approved Credit Cards Multi-Level Marketing Anything built with nails ALL CAPS the saying "on the same page" Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? "This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes" clients 0 items have completed successfully Start Shutdown The Simpsons dubbed in German Getting called to the blackboard when you have an erection Folk music The smell of my 2 year old son's car seat after a few months Being asked if anyone has asked you to carry any items on a plane for them tourists the term "full blown" semiotics resin hits Aging Baby-Boomers the 00's banners that look like submit buttons Burning Man stories guys named Dick Tony Robbins** Jay Leno Having to "Join" a website ad.doubleclick.net** that pixely windows startup graphic Ira Glass redirection web counters the Spanish Inquisition Census2000** 10 digit dialing trying to call tech support controlled burns Sideburns Daylight Savings Time Figure Skating Dead Heads The Celestine Prophecy Leaf Blowers Lee Jeans Texas Florida graphic designers that don't get it spelling words with a z instead of an s. ie; skillz, playaz and trakz lazy Australians who say "yous" as plural instead of saying "you" singular fluffy toilet seat covers that make the lid flop down - forcing you stand in a highly awkward position to take a leak Seattlites who don't realize they're just a bunch of F*cking hicks <html viewsource=no> people who say "aks" when clearly the word is "ask" Mormon Fight Clubs that start just months after a movie by the same name (sans Mormon). marchfirst Primus The Webbys! the guy at the next desk who sings along to the stereo... all day... every day... "internet time" accidental reply to all O Magazine Real Simple Magazine paying for parking a hard on at a funeral people who say "irregardless" cancer Bill Walton anything that is gold-plated traffic speed dating "it's not you, it's me" my boyfriend who emailed all his friends about his lack of attraction to me...right after initiating sex!!! coworkers who are all talk about 'private meetings in the conference room' chicks who use too much teeth Metallica lime anything third world internet access "i really like you but..." people who use multiple paper towels to dry their hands doubling my cable bill, just to get internet service. The RIAA The NAB people who name drop acronyms and don't know what they stand for college radio employees with dumb nicknames like "6Q" it sucks that Dack lives so far away from me it sucks that Dack likes golf since his other diversions are so much more worthwhile Deep Dish not dack input fields Netscape browsers above version 3** finding the condom where it shouldn't be after doing it Beige colored walls and floors - because you don't want to offend anyone(notice how you don't please anyone either?) corporate plutocracy NAMBLA.org overenthusiastic telephone greetings my girlfriend celebrities testifying before Congress anal rape The fact that they don't show tits on TV Anything south of the mason dixon line backstreet boys yanks that think they are ... like ... sooo clever. The Hef The misuse of the word "anyways" The misuse of the word "orientated" Any music described as "light" or "easy" Bruce Willis' smug face lip pout superglue stuck to anything else people who clean out their cars in parking lots assholes who sing part of a Mozart aria at dinner after you proclaim your love for anything Puccinianything aria nosehairs earwax having a sexual dream about a coworker you don't like lady clinton Bryant Gumble bike thieves impotence at 30 Accommodating Netscape 4 finding farmteens.com in your parents' browser history anything that ends in NOT people who wear PORN STAR shirts people who watch sports and pretend like they know what is going on, when actually they are completely clueless putting tons of effort into taking a shit, and only shitting out a small chunk responding to someone with exactly the wrong thing. example: when someone says, "have a safe drive home" and you say "you too". they aren't going anywhere! or worse, when a waiter says,"enjoy your meal" and you say "you too". i hate doing that. paying for internet porn people who pronounce kareoke as "karoky", and people who take it seriously pixels Carls Jr. commercials Pokemon People who say "www" all the time before their domain name. .coms who hijack .net and .org addresses and vice-versa. People who send mass emails of "heart warming" stories. People who include EVERYTHING said previously in their email reply. People who send chain emails. People who are so stupid they'll open ANY damn attachment, even VBS scripts. Modernists who wring their hands over how to classify Tiger Woods racially. Big Mouth Billy Bass Fat, greasy-haired, illiterate women (which includes most of the female population of Oklahoma.) The government trying to control the internet Politicians claiming to be web savvy New Jersey girls from New Jersey with big hair female drivers any t.v. show on the WB constant bitching by hot girls who have absolutely no reason to bitch When your marketer makes you use a slogan like "crossing the T's in Technology and dotting the com" calling a pita with ketchup and goat cheese a pizza. returning to the suck list a dozen times over the past couple of weeks and finding it still hasn't been updated Relatives who inform you they're "on" e-mail. People who say, "Wanna go with?" The way MTV controls the thoughts of everyone between the ages of 12 and 21 askjeeves.com flagrant lack of a Web site dedicated to classic 70's rebellion flick, "Over The Edge" Tourists on the Metro during rush hour office space to impress clients over make it easy for employees to work Things that are packed by weight instead of volume hangovers my wife. (unfortunately, not nearly often enuff.) Slow women drivers who won't get out of the fast lane. other people crappy blowjobs Che Guevara Jappy girls Long Island psychotherapists Corporate Stuffed-shirt Arse-holes beige all those people who really are following me Stylesheets. Text is meant to be black, and who cares about perfect layout, anyway? television Universal Pictures The Florida panhandle (aka East Alabama) The fact that our country looks like a bunch of idiots because our president, the most powerful man in the world, likes to fuck ugly chicks debating the definition of sexual relations finding the perfect woman, and then finding out she bats for the wrong team needy men The Chevrolet/Geo Metro women who dress up for baseball games. That Flashing 12:00 not having a plunger when it's very necessary to have one people that email you their phone # with dots instead of dashes (i.e. 555.234.1234) seeing someone picking their nose This whole Flash debate the guy who told me to get ICGE at 135 and now its down to 25 the feeling that bugs are crawling all over you and only when I drink some JD does the feeling go away. shipping charges Forever having to fiddle with my Netscape defaults in order to read dack.com's miniscule type. reverse racism people who think New Jersey sucks even thought they've never been off the Turnpike people who think "shaving your vagina" has anything to do with what decade it is "art" (paintings, photographs, music, films) that try to make you feel guilty for driving your car, owning a gun, telling Polish jokes, or any other personal decision. anyone who dumps on dack.com. Shockwave Managers with no people skills Radio morning "Wake-up Crews" who aren't funny but think they're hilarious <meta http-equiv="Refresh" content="0; URL=http://...."> making it impossible to back up using the back button.** Women who do their makeup in the rear-view mirror while they're driving to work. Software patents People who take the last cup and don't make a fresh pot. People on the internet who type "u" instead of "you", "ur" instead of "your/you're", "4" instead of "for", "r" instead of "are", etc. People who pronounce "supposedly" as "supposably" A Coup d'Etat in the country you were about to take an expensive, really cool vacation in. People who say "per usual" pierced nipples cheating girlfriends The superfluous phrase "in terms of." polite conversation rush limbaugh may be doing monday night football The commercial for Mattress Giant (only at Mattress Giant, OOOOooohh, aaaahHHH) ms outlook unrequested popup windows on porn sites. Blechhh drivers who don't turn right on red people who are anal people who blow their nose at their desk, despite the fact that it sounds like a giant foghorn Human Resources people who say, "I'm big picture" hanging out with two friends who both know another language and keep speaking that language, which makes you think that they're talking shit about you someone's breath after drinking 2-hour old folgers coffee with non-dairy creamer shaved vaginas Baseball caps with pre-curved brims Anyone who says "e-mails" (plural with an s). You don't got the real mailbox to mail your real "mails"; why would you send "e-mails" with your computer? TLAs (three-letter acronyms) Parking meters Cars that have to slow down to 5 mph to go over a speed-bump because their ugly-ass is dragging on the ground. Especially when they're in front of you. People who think the World Wide Web is the same as the internet. People who drift straight from the onramp into the fast lane, especially when the other five lanes are completely empty. cameltoe through jeans People who think an action film sucks because "the characters are so one dimensional". Alan Greenspan women (or men for that matter) who marinate in cologne Brown nosers - Hello? Like people don't see through that shit! People who quote movies/comics/whatnot, and claim that they made it up. Emoticons People you type "LOL" in chat rooms or emails "men's magazines" like Maxim that have thirty pages of pretty boys wearing expensive ugly clothing you couldn't even afford if you were stupid enough to want to look like that Logos with swooshes in them waiting for your boss those iMac billboards on your way home from work number 2 pencils Tom Cruise Any movie named "Battlefield Earth" Using a seat cover as toilet paper Dropping your soap on a hairball When they put condoms in the most visiable section of the store people who read over your shoulder When your computer is worth less than you bought it for by the time it arrives in the mail slutty women who break your heart smog clicking on banners to find the "secret password" to download anything lemon girls that don't call back. BITCH! My roommate My roommate who farts running into a barb wire fence A/C optional Getting lost at night while drunk Girls that don't remember you because she drank to much vodka forgetting your password, THEN finding out you didn't even give yourself a clue, you just typed asdfdfsghfg forms that don't let you type dsfdghkdsfg white people that play asian people on TV a hamster that drives the ball 125 yrds. off the tee, lays 300 yards out, and waits for the group ahead to clear being part of a radio morning "Wake-up Crew" and realizing you aren't funny beige Dr. Laura Enhanced CDs inability to be played as music CD in a CD-ROM drive snow www.malepregnancy.com the fact that i think i'm being chased by goblins The Gap, Abercrombie and Fitch, J. Crew, Structure, Pacific Sunware Football (soccer) hooligans who give the game a bad reputation guys who wear shorts in bars after dark Scrappy Doo web sites with lotsa typos the phrase "damn strait" people who say "acrosst" home theater envy TV stations whose sense of time is not the same as your VCR's, from which it is thus difficult to record DVDs with no commentary tracks Two periods in one month! the idea that popularity means a lack of quality my life those little plastic stickers they put on the top of CD jewel cases these days Barry whiffle ball radishes fat free cheese Proxy servers diarrhea My new cubicle "Web" designers who don't know HTML. work modems low bandwidth The Bullshit of higher learning seatbelts morons that want a safe world with no risks car insurance,and all the dork states that make haveing it mandatory asshole foreman,bosses in general backstabbing company newsletters that have all the suck dicks pictures in them stile Those stupid CD wrappers that you CD's are practically PACKAGED in the time span between Suck List updates.......geeeez! Shaq those tools who find it necessary to check their cell phones every 30 seconds to see if someone called them. Illiterates who can only forward email Falling In Public when people say Pacific but mean specific Fast Company** Celine Dion girls who call other girls 'girlfriend' when the hero in a movie is surrounded by 10 guys and they take turns for him to beat the crap out of them. Adam's apples with hair growing out of them drying your face with a towel and noticing you've got somecody else's snot all over your face People who type "prolly" in the place of "probably". Dallas Stars fans who are seemingly oblivious to the fact that the team WAS the Minnesota Northstars, but act like the team was founded by Sam Houston. Eminem Barbara Walters Using _emphasis_ or *emphasis* in e-mail vaginal warts Punch the Monkey and Win! somebody's remake of the Smiths' "How Soon Is Now" People who say biscetti instead of spaghetti "at this juncture" Tom Cruise (what's the deal with this shrimp anyway?) Old guys who can't seem to help letting out agonized grunts as they pee in the stall next to you. The Chicago Cubs (1908 and still counting) fat women Using your underwear and sock as toilet paper because you couldn't make it home in time and had to take a massive dump in a subway tunnel. r&b after 1972 post Nirvana "rock" Pat Riley goonism in hockey Having to walk across town in 90 degree weather while wearing pants and a shirt that doesn't breathe, only to find out that your pictures have another day before they're done developing. "Working hard or hardly working?" Vinyl car seats in the summer when your car doesn't have AC. SWASS (SWamp ASS. That sweaty spot on your ass when it is really hot out and you have been sittind for a long time) facial moles with a huge hair(s) growing out of it tobacco/coffee breath sports that allow their current reigning MVP to be a worse foul shot shooter than most 5 year olds. people who feel compelled to sing along with every song at the concert you just paid $60 to get into--thinking you were going to listen to the band, not the singing morons in the audience. people that use arse instead of ass people who pull up to the EXACT CHANGE lane at the toll plaza, but don't have EXACT CHANGE. People who like to park their cars so they intentionally take up 2 spaces to keep them from getting dented Seeing something on the suck list and realizing somebody probably submitted it with you in mind! Seeing something on the suck list and realizing somebody probably submitted it with you in mind... then thinking about it a little more and coming to the conclusion that it was probably your wife who submitted it! Floppy Discs BMW Drivers the phrase "open the kimono" "going dot-com" People who feel the need to come to a complete stop on the onramp, before merging onto the highway people who refuse to take their fucking backpack off on the el and smack into everyone people who say "irregardless" when my mom is sick from chemo my freakin' slice Great shots on the fairway followed by miserable putting any kind of gimmick golf club soccer Canada flatmates from hell Loading a site's home page and seeing "50 items remaining" in your browser's status bar me for liking the suck list so much me for not understanding some of the suck list references Chuck Knoblauch Online banking: when will I be able to print cash on my laserjet? That post-lunch doze off MEN who don't trim their pubic hair and it gets all over your sheets and shower. people that cut their toenails at their desk (Editor's note: this can't be possible) receipt mania: you can't buy a can of soda these days without the checkout clerk handing you a receipt for the 79 cents you just spent. And they always seems annoyed when you say "no, I don't need a receipt for that." Locked doors on office building patios & balconies Aussie chicks who re-use those fluro blue Kookai shopping bags as their daily carry bag as they think it's trendy. People who drive around with their parking lights on just before dusk and transition to full power headlights as it gets darker. Just be bold and go to straight to full power lights! Tattoos and piercings on Playboy Centerfold models Retailers who advertise products as ".99(cents)" when it should be either "$0.99" or "99(cents)" Saudi Arabian jail Skunk beer poke`mon when products have labels that are impossible to remove falling off the t-bar in front of 50 other people in the queue the fact that The Extended Suck List is not database driven for easy management and more frequent updates "we understand your business processes" A weaselly Australian bloke called John Howard. Lakers Fans Ice in Scotch (or Vodka, or Wiskey, or Bourbon) DJ Boom-Bip Saudi Arabian Drivers Macromedia and Adobe's overpriced junk the UPN network for suspending the Dilbert show for a few months RealNetworks, Netscape, AOL, Sony, Nintendo, Adobe, Apple, and all the Linux companies, because they think Microsoft won't crush them Janet Reno Sailor Jack & bingo My Job bitches who try to snowball you nouns used as verbs that should only be nouns marketing drones The Bacon Brothers Any kind of superstore green-colored tees Indiana Pacer Fans TicketTool seniors with drivers licenses non-BMW drivers People who say "him and I" trying to sound correct, when they should say "him and me". "Prequel" and "Three-peat" "Irregardless" non-German cars rice rockets the word "docent" chicks with different sized tits That goddamn simon guy from www.mysimon.com. And what the hell does that site do anyways? Lars Ulrich Namezero.com Australians who voted in the Liberal Party and John Howard and then complain and protest about the introduction of the Goods and Services Tax, their primary election policy any song by Meatloaf Golf, golfers, and golf clothing Peolpe who say "I could care less" when they mean: "I couldn't care less." Guys who say they are going to call, then don't. Guys who leave you for their ex. drivers that do not use the signal when turning. I believe all cars have them. losers who wear denim button down shirts with the name of some tech conference on them to work white people clapping in rhythm "Mean people suck" "Nice people swallow" bumper stickers Power fluctuations that cause your security alarm to go off at 11pm while you and the wife are doing the NASTY causing you to jump out of bed, wrap yourself in a sheet and run around the house looking for intruders while you talk to the 911 operator on your cordless phone and then pull on some shorts to go talk to the cops who just pulled up so you can explain to them "I think it was a false alarm" and then spend the next 45 minutes getting your 7 year old back to sleep because she was scared shitless by the alarm and never getting back to the NASTY! people who wait in line at starbucks for 10 minutes and then, once it is actually their turn to order, must think about what drink they want. getting caught singing to the backstreet boys or worse...getting caught with your own cd finding an extremely cheap airline ticket and then finding out that the flight is on an Alaskan Airlines MD-80 last call** People who send HTML e-mail Jane Fonda......still britney spears so-called friends who (1) send me stupid jokes or (obvious urban myth) stories and (2) They don't BCC: me so everyone on their stupid list gets my email address, and I have to wade through the names of 100 of their closest friends, most of whom are morons, and why am I on the moron list? any book by james patterson people who consider themselves "readers" because they like Stephen King or Sidney Sheldon bill walton radio stations that play any song from Dark Side of the Moon before 8pm and after 6am Microsoft Word 2000 "Save as HTML" people who give their HTML pages a .html extension instead of a .htm one www.websitesthatsuck.com - The pot calling the kettle black * 1000 Linux/Unix Fanatics Perl When other assholes in the office take the last Mountain Dew in the fridge and don't put more back in. "Developers" who use FrontPage catching a glimpse of a twelve-pack of labatt's blue under your ceo's desk the woman who marries your best friend who starts to have kids and decides that everyone else should be married with kids just because her lazy ass is now fat and all she wants to do is sit around that backyard and tell everyone how hard she works Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson people who hate Mexico pcOrder.com - or any Trilogy spin-off Tom Green + Drew Barrymore (and individually) people who still say SHAG with a wink LOL "Gen Y" "FWD: Please pass this on!!" dot-com mission statements people who preface their next sentence with "i don't mean to gross you out but..." and then tell you some grody sexual problem they're having with their boyfriend naive highschoolers Time zones: where I'm from, it's 5.30 and I could go home from work now; where I'm at now, it's not even lunchtime and I've got hours of hangover to see out before I can even think about sleeping tv stations that refer viewers to web sits by giving them the station's URL - "visit amazon.com by going to our web site, www.tvstation.com" companies with hard-to-spell names or weird acronyms who advertize on the radio but don't spell out their URL. - e.g. www.tiaa-cref.org, but pronouncing it as a word rather than spelling it out (www.tiakref.org) summerfest turning my usual two dollar a day parking lot into ten dollars a day graphic artists who think they're interface designers Liberals Dack's music selection That guy in the "Think Different" campaign that you have never fucking heard of people who say "Fortay" because it's spelled "forte" but should really be pronounced fort. Other people dumb yanks criticizing brits. we're fabulous. and we used to own you. or something. Insomnia Having huge mosquito-like creatures swarm around your computer at night. People who can't spell "grammar." Skinny blonde cloned Playboy centerfolds with store-bought hooters white kids in gangsta pants stingy guys fatsos who take up two+ seats on the subway those pathetic dweebs who write for TimeOut NY magazine Those arses who have 50-odd RE:s every time they reply to a message. work geeks losers everybody my cats your first date soccer people who write e-mails that have no caps or punctuation the guy who has a crush on you that lasts for YEARS when your golf swing goes to hell and you can't figure out why** alphabetical lists of countries with United States of America at the top hot fruit "This page intentionally left blank." As if I look at a blank page and think, "Hey, where's the stuff that's supposed to be on this page?" hicks my life not having money PEOPLE WHO HATE BRITTANY SPEARS AND EMINEN That bucktoothed Pepsi girl. In fact, the entire stupid Pepsi campaign. Homophobes Bigots Realizing that you're becoming a stereotype. The banner ad with those damn bouncing credit cards bullshit fad diets that contradict each other and make you gain weight anyway ugly guys who think they deserve conventionally hot women on the basis of having lots of money "send this to everyone you know!" javascripts that mess with the window widget so you can't close it Hangovers people who end sentences with prepositions mc hammer people who abbreviate everything corny shits peanuty shits green shits ever-wipe shits untrimmed bushes chicks with hairy nipples Those little born-again jesus fish people who think whassup!!! is still clever People who bitch about other's font selection When your supervisor is a scummy psycho B _ _ _ _ !!! verilogix latina chicks that shave their eyebrows off and draw them back on Flashcom DSL lime green clothing people who crunch ice the PowerBar commercial featured on ESPN2 the movie Mission Impossible 2, for using a tired, old plot (killer virus -- how original!) 3 putting! Not knowing what the sucklist is ordered by. Frank Thomas's shafting from the All Star game Wassssup! having to purchase hemmorhoid medicine off a hot chick behind the register** trucks bumper stickers that say "My child is an honor student at ChildofBrayingAss Elementary" Trekkies who bash Dack and his hatred of Flash." Conservatives Idiots who push the Project Management Institute like it's Oxford or something ex-wives who are teachers and think they deserve to be paid for providing day care for their own kids Banners that make you glad you're not an epileptic. Barbra Streisand** seeing the same thing multiple times on the suck list script kiddies people who use "chatspeak" in real conversation.. e.g. pronouncing "j/k" as "jay-kay". buzzwords Signs that say "Restroom for customers only" and minimum wage assholes who live by this credo. Starbuck's sudden crackdown on strangers using their restrooms and bolting out the door without buying anything. (What else is Starbuck's for?) Minimum wage numbskulls who actually take the time to go by the book when they know that they're paid beans. Lack of clean underwear, which means an immediate trip to the laundromat. People afraid of wearing boxer shorts. George Carlin selling out. The amazing amount of newspaper space devoted to George Dubya Bush. The lack of newspaper space devoted to Ralph Nader. Harry Knowles. Ebert's sycophantic new partner, Richard Roeper, a third-rate Jeffrey Lyons Laws that outlaw oral sex and sodomy Joel Schumacher Brian De Palma Hugh Hudson People who give money to Joel Schumacher, Brian De Palma and Hugh Hudson to make films Boring Yanni specials and similar music programs that are inexplicably popular on PBS Kenny G Vanilla Ice's attempts at a comeback Cliff's Notes Jay Leno People who actually take Teletubbies seriously enough to declare Tinky Winky gay Those generic matchboxes at 7-11 made with cheap sulfur, resulting in a flame that dies instantaneously after striking *part of the permanent suck list collection **strongly endorsed by the dack.com editorial board

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